I hate myself.

It’s safe to say I’ve pretty much given up on practically every thing and everyone because I’m a piece shit who should suffer. Seems cool right? All the fucking shit I go through to make everyone happy is just pointless now. My heart feels like it’s being consumed by an eternal darkness that seeks to shroud my soul in its shadowy fingers. Ever felt depression before? It’s like drowning but you can see everyone else breathing. Ever lose someone meaningful to you? I have. Ever wanted to just end it? I have. I mean what’s the point of going on if the one you loved is scared or pushes you away? It’s just complete and utter nonsense. Every day I begin to hate myself little bit more because of what happened. I’m a faceless mannequin to you now. You say you have nobody to talk to but so many things could have been averted in the end. Tell me why I shouldn’t just give up. Sorrow and depression are cruel but it seems to be the only thing I have now thanks to my own mess ups.

I am starting get to think I belong in a psych ward where I would just have my own thoughts to bother me. It’s sad that I’m gonna ask my parents if I can stay in one for a bit.

http://deadmanderpy.tumblr.com/post/90767065716/chaophile-deadmanderpy-chaophile

chaophile:

deadmanderpy:

chaophile:

chaophile:

deadmanderpy:

chaophile:

deadmanderpy:

chaophile:

my mom randomly took my phone to scroll through my message out of suspicion of sexting

which confuses me cuz literally no one texts me even saying hi let alone a picture of their hoo-ha

Guess that’s my fault.

wait were implying that you would sext me -.-

oooooooh man that would’ve been useful information like 10 minutes ago. Plus you could’ve talk to me about this privately. You didn’t ruin everything, it was just as much Abby’s fault as it is yours so don’t be so hard on yourself. I cherish you too bro but I’m still going to bust your balls both figuratively and physically, that’s just how I am. And yeah you told you me you had a tumblr but never cared to tell me the account name. But in all seriousness, I’m not mad, I’m disappointed. Just remember that I don’t hate you.

I’m just a butt I just don’t want to lose you or Abby. I couldn’t stomach it no less think about it.

well you don’t need to because we aren’t going anywhere. The more you keep feeding the fire the longer it burns. You feel?

Yeah true. I miss you bofe doh.

http://deadmanderpy.tumblr.com/post/90767065716/chaophile-deadmanderpy-chaophile

chaophile:

chaophile:

deadmanderpy:

chaophile:

deadmanderpy:

chaophile:

my mom randomly took my phone to scroll through my message out of suspicion of sexting

which confuses me cuz literally no one texts me even saying hi let alone a picture of their hoo-ha

Guess that’s my fault.

wait were implying that you would sext me -.-

oooooooh man that would’ve been useful information like 10 minutes ago. Plus you could’ve talk to me about this privately. You didn’t ruin everything, it was just as much Abby’s fault as it is yours so don’t be so hard on yourself. I cherish you too bro but I’m still going to bust your balls both figuratively and physically, that’s just how I am. And yeah you told you me you had a tumblr but never cared to tell me the account name. But in all seriousness, I’m not mad, I’m disappointed. Just remember that I don’t hate you.

I’m just a butt I just don’t want to lose you or Abby. I couldn’t stomach it no less think about it.